Hawkeye Hates Prince of Thieves
by Red Tigress
Summary: Prompt response. "Hawkeye is not someone you want to watch Robin Hood movies with." Clint, Steve and Thor. No pairings.


_A/N: This was a prompt originally given to me over at the Beta Branch by Alex Kade. I guess you could call this movie!verse, but the living situation is sort of a mashup of what I assume the movie's going to be as well as the comics and a bit of the EMH cartoon. So sorry about the inaccuracies in that regard._ _Anyway, the prompt was "Hawkeye is not someone you want to watch Robin Hood movies with." Hope you enjoy._

For a cable system that had every channel imaginable, there was remarkably little on. It was a Tuesday night in the Avengers Tower, and as no one had tried to blow up the White House or anything, several members were hanging around with nothing to do. Steve was curious about some of the movies on television, and Thor was curious about human culture. Clint, having nowhere else to go since he had been assigned to hang around, was trying to pick a movie with them. It also helped that Clint knew how to operate the remote.

No one knew where Natasha was, no one _ever_ knew where Natasha was. She would just sort of…show up. Bruce and Tony were in their respective labs on the floor below. Every now and again faint crashes and cursing could be heard coming from the direction of Stark's, serving in direct opposition to everything they knew about the Hulk. But then again, Bruce was the scientist.

After a little deliberation they had settled on _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves._ Thor had said he liked heroic tales, and Steve, at least, was familiar with the story.

It had only taken a few minutes of watching, however, before Clint had ruined the movie-going experience for everyone.

"This is awful," he mumbled.

"I kind of like it," Steve replied, surprised. "I thought you would have liked all the archery…stuff."

"First of all, Kevin Costner doesn't even have a British accent. He's like…not even trying because he can get away with it."

"It is strange he does not sound like the rest of them," Thor commented.

"Second of all, they're not even doing it right."

"What right?" Steve said dryly, already knowing the answer. Clint didn't even seem to pick up on his tone.

"They've all got death grips on their bows, like those things are going to slip right out of their hands. In actuality, you're supposed to have a relaxed, loose grip like this." Clint held up his right arm to demonstrate, the tips of his thumb and index figure barely touching. "Do you know what happens when you hold your bow in a death grip?" Clint made a fist.

"Pray, tell us!" said Thor excitedly, enjoying the irritation of the other member. Steve shot Thor a scathing look.

"It makes the bow shake. You won't hit anything!" Clint looked back at the television screen briefly before saying loudly "And there's another thing!" He held his right arm out again, standing up as he did so. "Do you see, do you see how my elbow sticks out this far? Like that guy's there?" he pointed to the movie before pointing back to his elbow.

"No-" Steve started slowly, before being interrupted by Thor's enthusiastic "Yes!"

"When your elbow sticks out like that, the string's gonna take a chunk right out of it." Clint ran his other hand back and forth across his elbow making a _thsst _noise every time he did so. Thor chuckled and smiled at Steve who was glaring at Thor from under his lowered brow. "You have to _rotate_ it out of the way!" Clint then kept his right arm out and his fist vertical, but rotated his elbow horizontally and vertically back and forth.

"This has been quite informative, Clint." Said Thor, still smiling widely.

"I'm not done!" thundered Clint, turning to Thor. The Asgardian chuckled again and Steve sank further into the couch. "Do you know why archers don't wear capes, or loose clothing? No offense, Thor." He added quickly.

"None taken, my friend."

"That stuff gets tangled up in the bow string like you _wouldn't_ believe, and then uh oh! Arrow in the face." Thor laughed loudly as Clint snatched a pen off the table. "And, when you hold the arrow, you can't hold it like _this_." He gripped the end of the pen between his middle finger and thumb. He turned to face Steve quickly. "In fact, you shouldn't even be holding the arrow at all! You should be holding the bow string above and below the arrow! Well-made arrows will stay on the string. That way, the arrow's trajectory isn't knocked off because you were busy manhandling the arrow."

Thor was laughing at Steve's discomfort, and Steve shot him another look before turning back to Clint. "Well…we saw that scene where they made their own arrows with knives and branches and stuff…and they were all people from the village, not exactly…"Steve raised an eyebrow, pleased with himself for remembering the name of the profession. "…fletchers," he finished.

Clint looked like he was about to argue before Steve cut him off. "It's a movie, Clint."

Clint looked confused for a minute before realization dawned on him. He stood straight up again, before remembering the pen in his hand. He placed it back on the coffee table before sinking slowly and quietly back into his seat. Thor and Steve looked at him for a moment. Another distant crash coming from Tony's lab was heard, along with a distant _"Effing yogurt!"_

That seemed to break the tension and all three turned back towards the TV, watching in silence for a few minutes.

"His elbow is _far_ too high," Clint grumbled. Thor barked out a laugh and Steve stood up quickly.

"Aren't there any books in this place?" the Captain complained.

Thor clapped Clint on the back. "My friend Fandral and you would get along splendidly."


End file.
